Updates

At this point in my life, it looks like I will not be returning to the SCA in any aspect. I just finished going through all of my old posts and re-releasing them to the public. It’s mostly because I’m in the process of sending out my completed book to literary agents and one of them requested a writing resume. Since this blog went on there, I thought I should take the time to make all of the posts viewable.

Here were some things I realized while going through my old posts:

1. The thing that was most important to me in the SCA were the people. I enjoyed the camaraderie of working together in melees to defeat an opponent. I liked hanging out with friends, even though we were hitting each other with sticks and in armor.
2. I was surprised at how many memories it brought back, mostly good.
3. There are still people in the SCA that I would consider my friends, even though I don’t see them anymore.
4. I worked my ass off trying to get good at this sport. Despite getting to know a lot of people, I never had any awards or recognition of my hard work because I never managed to be “good enough” at fighting.
5. One truly toxic person can ruin a really good thing. I spent years covering up his treatment of me in posts. Everything from discouraging remarks to outright telling me I’d never be good enough to “showing me” how to do a shot and then claim I can never get it right. I couldn’t go back and put those comments in the blog all in even if I wanted to. I did make the decision to never mention his name in my posts when I first started posting, even when I naively thought that he had the best intentions for me.
6. Some toxic people are rarely caught if they’re smart because nobody believes it if they don’t see it. And he was a different person at events than in private.
7. I was fiercely loyal to several people in the SCA that I considered to be family, even though some were not in the household I was once a part of. What really ruined the SCA for me was the people who I thought so highly of abandoning me when I was in the greatest need of a friend.
8. My blog is not as old as I thought it was. I thought I had started writing in it back in 2007 when I first started making it a point to go to fight practices regularly. I didn’t start actually writing in it until 2010.
9. I was hoping to find some older entries that “proved” that I didn’t start crying at fight practices until later in my fighting career. All I have is a memory when I was in Northern Outpost when I was just starting out in 2000. A female friend of mine at the time wanted to start fighting, but cried every time she was hit. It boggled my mind at the time to think that it was a thing. But that’s all the “proof” I have.
10. You can believe me or not about the truth of what I wrote here. I doubt I will be seeing any SCAdians in real life again.
11. If you once knew me and want to reconnect, feel free to send a Facebook request. However, if we have a mutual friend of the toxic person, I will not add you. It’s nothing personal, but I have learned over the years that it’s worth dropping a few friendships to keep that toxic person out of my life.
12. I’m hoping that this is all for naught and that the toxic person has found someone else to target. It’s been almost 10 years, so hopefully he has moved on. I know I have.
13. I miss a lot of what I had in the SCA. I wish I could go back and naively believe that people are my friends again. I also don’t want to go back and make new friends worrying that the same thing will happen again someday.
14. Maybe it’s stupid and sentimental, but my heart broke most with the loss all of those friendships. I’m picturing some of those former friends telling themselves, “But I never abandoned you. I never betrayed you.” To those people, I respond, “Did you ever ask me if the lies being told about me were true? Did you ever hear me say I was emotionally abused by a person and then claimed that you weren’t going to take sides? Did you give that person sanctuary denied to me?”

This has been a fun trip down memory lane, but my life has no place in it for the SCA anymore. I’m busy with my new life and it’s been a good one so far. My second husband is a great guy who has been supportive of all of my new endeavors and I am loving being a mother. I’m part of other communities now and have other aspirations. Be well everyone and I wish you all the best with your goals and your future!

No, I’m not back

Quite some time ago, I listened to someone who told me my writing was shit. Like an idiot, I believed him and I basically turned all of my old posts to private. I also heavily edited my posts based on his and others recommendations. The idea was to protect the egos and reputations of certain people. Now that I have decided that I am never returning to the SCA, I have decided to make all my posts public, including the ones that never were. I thought I was protecting people. I thought I was protecting my old household. At one point, I even tried to protect me ex-abuser. But it is no longer going to damage me in any way to have people learn the truth, because I no longer have any interest in chivalry. It was something I once strived towards, but given things that have happened, some of which I saw first-hand, it is a convention I no longer believe in. If someone presented me with a writ tomorrow, I would turn it down and tell them where they could shove the so-called honor. There are honorable people in the chivalry, but there are plenty of dishonorable ones and plenty of people who can’t tell the difference and allow people who truly shouldn’t be there to join their ranks.

It’s going to take some time, but I’m going to release all of my old posts, regardless of their contents. I have over 450 posts written over the last 15 years or so. I also have a lot on my plate right now, so please be patient!

Woods Battle: Pennsic 47

Hey everyone!  I wrote this right after Pennsic and then got busy packing and moving and never posted it.  Enjoy!

Back when I was pregnant, my husband promised me that our first Pennsic back, I would get to fight in the woods battle. Since my son was born I have only been in armor twice. I really didn’t have have much of a desire to fight at all. In fact, throughout peace week, I even described myself as “a former fighter”. I didn’t know where I was going with my SCA identity and goals, but I did know it wasn’t going to be related to fighting. I took classes, volunteered, made new friends, and reconnected with old ones.

At the beginning of the second week, I decided to attend the female fighters roundtable. I don’t know why I wanted to go. I had already decided to give up fighting for the time being. Nonetheless, after a lot of debate, I decided to go. It was nice to have a chance to chat with other female fighters. It lit enough of a fire in me to decide to attempt the woods battle.

The next morning I woke up early, put on all my armor, and got to inspection point not long after they opened. Thankfully, my weapons had already been inspected because my husband had considered using them himself. I passed the inspection with no issues. I walked back up to the B blocks, then down again, across the battlefield, up the road, and to the woods. I was already pouring with sweat by the time I arrived. After walking uphill to get to our resurrection point, I was huffing and puffing. Thankfully, there was plenty of time before the battle started. I looked around for some people I knew, thinking to say ‘hi’ and decided against it. I spotted a man sitting on a rock not far away. There was another rock nearby, so I sat on that. I ended up chatting with him a little bit as we waited, but only in passing. A few people came across me and said hi, but mostly I sat in silence. I was okay with that. It seemed like everyone else was spending the time blustering and boasting (I doubt that EVERYONE was doing it, it just seemed that way at the time), so I was enjoying keeping my silence.
During one of my few conversations, people asked me who I was fighting with. I said I was fighting for myself. Then I was pleased to realize that it was true. The woods battle is really the best battle for being an army of one, since it’s easy to lose your group and end up fighting with someone else anyway. Fighting for myself meant I could go where I want and do what I want. In the past, fighting alone felt scary. Now, it felt like I was free.
After being told it was going to be 10 minutes or 5 minutes before the battle begins at least 5 times, I didn’t even have my helmet on when the cannon went off. I quickly remedied that. I quickly went off the path and found a section where there was fighting. Since I had a pole arm, I really couldn’t do much when there were spears opposing us. When they all got taken out and there were just people fighting with sword and shield, I realized that I had the tactical advantage. I ran in, killed 3, and made a hole. I kept going down the line and killing off people until a spear spotted me and took me out. As I walked away, I saw that nobody knew what to do with the hole I made. Some people were yelling at everyone to stay the line since getting too far ahead meant that they could flank around us. However, we could have used the hole I made to wrap around them on both sides and nobody took advantage of it.

When I returned, I was told they needed help on the road. I usually like to stay off of the road, but since they asked for help, I went there. There were a few Tuchux there. I usually liked fighting Tuchux in the past. However, none of them acknowledged any of my shots, even though two rocked their heads, and one shot caused the person to fall. Eventually, I was killed by a spear.

I decided to return to the woods. I realized that we were on the far left flank and we were thinning out way too much. Most of the time all I really did was stand there and help be a “show of force” since the other side had a lot of spears. My pole arm didn’t have the reach on them. After a while, some of my old habits returned. I found myself repeating orders. Then I found myself shouting new things. I figured it was stupid for me to order people, but I seemed to notice things that other people didn’t. I saw where the line was thinnest. I saw when they started to flank us. I saw when one guy with a white belt drew off five people that should have stayed with our line. I just yelled to point out the things I noticed. People rarely did anything about it, but that was their choice.
I realized that a little to the left of me was one of the flags. While it was fun killing people, this was really what the battle was all about. This would allow us to win or lose. Many people enjoy the fight without seeing the bigger picture — the flag. There were very few people near the flag. I got killed several times protecting it. Each time, it became more and more difficult to hike back up the hill and return to the flag. Each time, I spent a little bit longer standing back and catching my breath before joining the line. I suppose the important thing was that I kept returning, even if it took me a while. We lost the flag at the end of the battle, but at least we tried.

Over the course of the battle I had seen several people I knew. Duke Darius (Omega?) said it was good to see me out there. Some folks I knew from Locac said something similar. Probably my favorite moment was when Duke Edward of Eldemere gave me a fist bump. Maybe it sounds silly, but being acknowledged for doing something well by such a great pole arm fighter meant a lot to me!

Pennsic 47 Woods Battle

I wrote this not long after Pennsic and then forgot to post it. I should note that I have not been back in armor since.

Back when I was pregnant, my husband promised me that our first Pennsic back, I would get to fight in the woods battle. Since my son was born I have only been in armor twice. I really didn’t have have much of a desire to fight at all. In fact, throughout peace week, I even described myself as “a former fighter”. I didn’t know where I was going with my SCA identity and goals, but I did know it wasn’t going to be related to fighting. I took classes, volunteered, made new friends, and reconnected with old ones.

At the beginning of the second week, I decided to attend the female fighters roundtable. I don’t know why I wanted to go.  I had already decided to give up fighting for the time being, but after a lot of debate, I decided to go.  It was nice to have a chance to chat with other female fighters.  It lit enough of a fire in me to decide to attempt the woods battle.

First, I had nobody to fight with. One of the biggest issues with the East Kingdom is that you need to belong to a household or have friends in a household to have someone to fight with. The only exception is if you live in the north. The northern army generally allows anyone to fight with them, so long as they are from the north. I would have opted to fight with them, but my emotionally abusive ex was fighting with them and I still prefer to keep away from him as much as possible.

This time, I fought for myself. I saw lots of old acquaintances there and chatted then up a bit, but I was there alone. As such, I was able to fight where I wanted. It was a lot of fun not to have any marching orders.

I actually started the day by taking out a whole line of people. I started on one end. As a single fighter in a dress, I probably seemed inconsequential to them. There were also a few white belts in front of them, so they were nicely distracted. I hung out in the brush to the side and took them out, one by one! It’s a story I dreamed of getting to tell when I first started in the SCA, but the only one who ended up hearing it was my husband and our one-year-old son. It’s amazing how one’s priorities change!

After I took out that whole line, I decided not to commit suicide by running through the gap. I let better runners handle that part. I looked for another place to fight and ended up against the tuchux for a bit. Fighting the tuchux can vary depending on the day. I have had a good time against them. I have received blows that were near-concussive in intensity. Because of never knowing what to expect, I am often hesitant to fight them. This was one of those days in between. They killed me a few times, I killed them a few times. The last time, I was too winded to find them, so I sat on some hay bales near the flag.

I was occasionally joined by some other fighters who also needed the rest. We sometimes got people who broke through the line and attempted to get the flag, but they were mostly stragglers, easily picked off. Eventually, I received blows to my wrist, elbow, and shoulder of the same arm all at once. Fighting one-armed with a pole arm made me particularly useless. I was basically just a warm body to help with a show of numbers until others came along.

Eventually, a larger group broke through and attacked us. I yelled for reinforcements and people actually listened. Eventually, I was in the way, so I mustered up my bravado and ran one-armed, yelling, I to the fray. Of course I didn’t survive it. Strangely enough, others followed me and we broke through their ranks, ruining their attempt to get to the flag.

Apparently something I did caught Duke Edward of Eldemere’s attention, because he gave me a fist-bump! It felt good to be acknowledged by such a great pole-arm fighter.

Various other people said it was good to see me out there. It made me feel good that people said so, though many of their actions have proven otherwise in the past.

All in all, it felt good to be out there. At the same time, now that I have a family to take care of, they now come first and fighting comes second. I don’t know if or when I will get out there again.

Uncertain Future

I decided that before I return to fighting, I would focus on weight loss. It made sense because my body wasn’t responding very well to my extra weight and I wanted to be in better condition before I started fighting again.

Since then I started an eating plan that was too expensive to stick to and an exercise plan that lasted for all of a month. I put the exercise on hold due to foot pain and the busy nature of my job during the month of December.  I later found out that I have plantar fasciitis, a foot condition that results in pain. The likely cause? Being pregnant or being overweight.

Now, in the new year, I am trying to lose weight through diet alone, which was never really my strong suit. I have decided to cut out grains, white potatoes,  and added sugars. No, that does not mean I’m going low-carb. I plan to eat squash and fruit and sweet potatoes and whatever else I can find with those parameters that still has carbs in it. I am still breastfeeding and need those carbs for milk production.  I may also eat rice and rice products since Kenshin, who is doing this plan with me, refuses to give up on rice. So far, it’s not going well. We’re still not done eating through the remaining sugar and grain products around the kitchen when we’re hungry for snacks. On the bright side, our meals are now what they should be.  I will be getting inserts for my shoes for the foot condition  and will wait and see on the exercise.

In the meantime,  I am debating returning to fighting. My body is not happy with me at the moment and is not fit for any exercize right now. While I had a burning desire to fight well for years, I had some issues pursuing that desire after some emotional problems from being a victim of emotional abuse. Since my son was born, the desire to be good at fighting is slowly fading. I’m only a couple years away from 40. And now it seems like several of the great fighters I heard stories about when I first started  are all developing seizure disorders, having strokes, and other head-related issues. Combine that with a calibration that only seems to go up in this kingdom, and you can see why I’m concerned. Intelligence and my brain are a lot of who I am. I don’t want to risk that. So for those reasons, I am unsure if I will be returning to fighting at all. The future is uncertain. We will see.

My New Plan to Improve

After reading so much good advice in Only One Thing to Improve My Fighting, I felt a little torn about which to follow, in a similar way to not being able to decide what sword and shield style to fight.  So, I looked at each piece of advice and realized they mostly boiled down to the following categories:

Weight training
Cardio
Stuff that can be done at a fight practice
Pell work
Mobility/footwork
Mindset/mental preparation

Since I only have time to really do one thing each day, I looked at each of those categories and came up with the following:

Weight training –
How is it useful?
It will increase my strength so I can hold my shield and swing my sword for longer.  It will also increase my overall fitness level .
Can I currently do it?
Yes.  I have hand weights, a weighted ball, a kettlebell, and exercise bands.  However, there are many things I will have to do with body weight only — and even then poorly, like lunges and squats.

Cardio –
How is it useful?
It will increase my stamina so I can fight longer and have better footwork/mobility.  It will increase my overall fitness level. 
Can I currently do it?
Not really.  I am so heavy that my knees hurt to walk up and down stairs.  I do some walking, but that’s really all I can currently manage.  It is definitely an option for the future when I get in a bit better shape.

Stuff that can be done at a fight practice –
How is it useful?
It will improve my technique, defense, footwork, and mentality with real people in real time in real situations.
Can I currently do it?
Absolutely.  While my attendance and participation in fight practices are a bit sporadic for the time being, I can definitely do these when I do attend and fight!

Pell work
How is it useful?
It will improve my technique for offense and the duration of time I can swing a stick for.
Can I currently do it?
No.  My pell is currently stuck behind a pile of boxes in the garage after moving.  And my strength level is such that I probably wouldn’t be able to execute the technique correctly at the moment anyway. 

Mobility/footwork
How is it useful?
This one is difficult to put into words. We all know footwork is useful, but I’ve never been able to articulate why.  Mobility is definitely useful because if you’re not there, they can’t hit you!
Can I currently do it?
This is similar enough to cardio that I can not currently do it, but it is on the list for the future when I’m more fit and don’t have my knee pain. 

Mindset/mental preparation
How is it useful?
There are some who believe that this is the most important part.  If you don’t enjoy it, if you don’t understand how and what you should be doing, if you don’t have the right mentality, then you won’t do well. 
Can I currently do it?
Yes, I think.  While some of this is straightforward like watching videos, some of it is very difficult.  How do I learn to have fun, trust others, and be willing to fail?  Two of these I was able to manage in the past, but have somehow lost those abilities in recent years.

The plan
After looking through the options, I realized that I am indeed a ‘fat fuck’ (a phrase borrowed from South Park). After losing 20lbs of the pregnancy weight, I’m still holding steady at 250lbs.  At my heaviest pregnancy weight of 270lbs, I couldn’t walk without bad hip and pelvis pain.  Now that I’m down to *only* 250lbs, I have knee pain whenever going up and down stairs, kneeling, and standing from a kneeling position. I have decided that the most important this is to lose weight and inches.  Yes, I mean lose weight because there is too much weight on my knees right now.  My inches are preventing me from doing things.

My plan is going to be to strength train and do what I can at practices for right now.

I have found a pretty rigorous workout for 20-30 minutes a day.  It is mostly strength training with about as much cardio as I can handle.  It’s at trainerlindsey.com and no, they aren’t giving me money to recommend them.  I haven’t started to follow their food plan.  I’m not supposed to diet because I’m breastfeeding, but I’m thinking of following the foods, if not the quantities. We’ll see.

So about a week ago, Kenshin and I took starting photos, weight, and measurements.  Mine are all very embarrassing, but I might share them if I see good enough results.  We’ve been following the program for almost a week now.  I need a lot of modifications, but I have managed to complete all of the workouts so far!

Only One Thing to Improve My Fighting

As I may have mentioned once or twice (okay, probably every blog entry), I don’t have a lot of time now that I have an awesome baby boy.  It seems like I complain a lot about the time thing, but he is truly a loved little boy.  I couldn’t have asked for a better son!  I mention the time thing a lot on here because it does affect my ability to get back in the game.  If I am lucky, I have time to probably do ONE thing every day to improve my fighting.  So I asked my Facebook friends:

“If you could recommend one thing for me to do to improve my fighting, what would it be?”  I added the following: “I am just coming back to it, am overweight, out of shape, and recovering from a c-section. With a two month old son, I may only have time for one thing, if that.”

“Pell work” – Sir Mitchell MacBain

“Work on defense. A strong defense will allow you more options in a fight, just my two cents.”  – Duke Darius

“Ensure it remains a joy, rather then a chore. If you give yourself a hard deadline, I fear it will be one the latter.” – Duke Timothy of Arindale

“Cardio, time to build your stamina back up and lose the baby weight from your pregnancy.” – Kurama Kenshin

“Lunges. Easier on the mid-section and knees than squats. Rebuild leg strength.
Start with no weight. Once they are fluid (knees barely kiss the ground), start doing them holding the baby in your arms.  Once the cut from the c-sec is entirely healed, go on to squats. – Sir Pellandres

“100 shots a day on the pell while holding a shield. If you feel like you want to do more, go ahead; the 100 shots is a minimum, not a maximum.” Sir Alexander de Hauteville

“Be willing to fail. I know that sounds weird, but we so often get stuck in a spot where we are unwilling to take risks or change things that are not working because we are worried that they may lead to failing. Making mistakes, risk taking, trying new things, and being willing to abandon things that do not work are the ways to learn. Amusingly, I just gave this advice to my critical writing class last week.” – The Widow Montoya

“Pell work. Make the shots be automatic to the nervous system so you don’t have to think about throwing the shot, the shot just is.” – Jarl Thorsson

“Make sure you trust the people at practice enough to be able to take chances, and not try to “win” at practice.” – Alric of the Mists

“One thing? Observe. Watch all the fighting you can. In person, on video. Watch and learn. Physical conditioning matters, but fighting is an intellectual puzzle. Observation lets you solve the puzzle.”

“Mobility. Miyagi say, best way block hit, no be there.”

“Free Weight Training. Best long term gift you can give yourself. Stabilizing the joints will allow you to do more of the other things with less injury. I add this to my PEL work”. – Sir Hrafn

“I always suggest working footwork. No use being a sitting target. If you keep your feet moving not only will it help your defense, but it will help you get into better offensive potions where you can plant your feet and throw a good shot.” – Osazuwa NKante

“Make your goal not to win, but to have the best time you can for as long as you can and have a fun fight. You asked how to improve your fighting. I’ve told you that rather than told you how to be better at fighting. I think that if you follow my advice, getting better follows naturally. Bon chance!”

There were a few gentles whose SCA names I either did not know or know how to spell so I did not credit them here.  My thanks to all who responded!  Now I have a lot to think about!

Wyntersett Practice 10/15/17

I don’t remember if I mentioned this, but I moved again.  I am back in northern NY in the Shire of Northern Outpost.  It was actually the shire I started the SCA in.  This time I am living on the border of the shire and actually the border of the East Kingdom.  I am still living in the EK, but barely.  The closest practice is actually in Aethelmarc.  We had been playing with Northern Outpost because that’s were our friends are and that’s technically our group, but today we visited the Shire of Wyntersett in Aethelmarc.

We got there late.  One thing I always forget is that whenever you’re traveling anywhere with a baby is that you need to leave early.  It may be because you forgot to pack the diaper bag or because you need to stop on the way there to change him, but something always happens.  We arrived a half hour into the practice and everyone was already in armor.  I looked at the baby and asked him if he needed to be fed.  He made no indications that he was hungry and I began putting on armor.   Before putting on the body armor, I asked the baby again if he was hungry and he again gave no indication that he wanted to be fed.  As soon as I finished strapping on my vambraces, he wanted to be fed.  So I took off all of the top half of my armor and fed him.  Needless to say, I missed another half hour of the practice!

I used the pole arm for my first fight.  I fought Justin (no SCA name yet) who fought with  a short kitana.  Per some advice, I decided to try and focus on my defense while still fighting.  It required me to let him close in on me so it really helped me work on my inner game.  When I got done, Kenshin asked me why I didn’t just bash him with my pole arm when I had Justin on his knees.  Then he answered his own question and realized I must be working on something.

My second fight I decided to pick up sword and board.   I couldn’t even decide which sword and style to use.  I asked Kenshin to pick on for me and he chose the hilt-heavy sword which is common in the East.  I felt my muscles straining just holding it.  I told myself that I was really just beginning again and not to feel bad if I did poorly.  I mostly stuck to a defensive stance, but that was because the sword felt heavy and unwieldy.  The few times I attempted to use it felt clumsy.  It didn’t last long because I just couldn’t hold it up anymore.

It seemed like a good practice with good people.  I like the fact that it’s on a weekend.  I hate having to drive the 50 minutes to Northern Outpost on Tuesday nights.  I also don’t want to fight then because I have gone all day without seeing my son and would prefer to spend time with him!  It was different last Tuesday because people cane to our place.  I felt like the 100 minutes normally spent in driving, I could spend with our son.  Anyway, I’m not really focused on hitting many practices regularly, but I am happy that I’ve at least gotten a start!

 

Fighting Post-Pregnancy Part 2

For anyone who has a baby, you know how difficult it is to get stuff done, even if your baby is as sweet tempered as ours.  There are just days where he wants/needs constant attention and you can’t get anything done.  Today was one of those days. But, by some miracle, he managed to fall asleep right before we started to put our armor on. Now both of us could fight at the same time!

Armed with a leather punch, I managed to get my leg armor to barely fit.  My body armor gapped open at the front, but thankfully that didn’t matter with the current armor standards.  Everything fit — sort of.  Well, it fit well enough to cover the parts of my body that needed covering, so I guess that was good enough.

My first fight was Sir Rhys, so I picked up the sword and shield.  It felt awkward just holding them and was even more awkward attempting to use.  Thankfully he just kind of stood there and let me try to hit him at first. Whenever he started trying to hit me back, the fight didn’t last long.  He hit me on my unarmored arm and my leg where I have only thin, unhardened leather between the sword and my skin.  My skin stung so I decided to take a break.

I switched to pole arm and Sir Rhys was again ready to fight.  I did a little better this time.  I kept him at a distance for a little bit and even managed to kill him once with a well-placed face thrust.  I started thinking that perhaps pole arm might be the way to go for me.  I fought Christoph next.  He had a long weapon as well, but I got so winded too quickly and had to step away after only a bout or two.

Sir Rhys started to teach me a drill for moving while swinging.  I told him that I was looking at pursuing pole arm because I was doing much better with it today.  I explained that I had been taught so many different ways of fighting with sword and shield and I still couldn’t figure out if any of them actually worked for me.  He summed up what I was saying in a great way and of course I forgot how he put it.  But basically, I almost know too much on the subject but I can do none of it.  I can compare the East’s style with the Western (often called the Bellatrix style) and talk about the merits of tip-heavy swords with hilt-heavy swords, but I can’t fight well with either.  I can spout off the merits of each kind of shield, but I still have aircraft aluminum that I bought years ago waiting to be cut into a shield because I can’t figure out which is right for me.  It’s like I know all the sides of the arguments so I can’t make a good decision.  That’s why I want to fight with a pole arm.  I have found something that works for me.  And while I am in poor aerobic shape, it can only get better from here!

 

 

Fighting Post-Pregnancy

My baby was born 2 months ago via c-section.  Most of my recovery from the surgery is done.  I have been given the clearance to exercise with caution.  I can do anything unless it hurts.  Well, it turns out that walking for too long hurts.  I suppose it’s because they cut through my lower abdominal muscles and that they’re probably still re-knitting themselves back together. I am working at increasing the length of time I can walk for.   I started strength training last week.

I also put on 55lbs throughout the pregnancy and have only taken off 20 of it.  They say breastfeeding helps you lose weight, but I guess it takes a while.  Because I’m breastfeeding, I’m not allowed to diet.  That means I’m still 35lbs heavier than I was when I got pregnant.  Today I am going to try and fit in my armor.  If I can squeeze myself into it, I will attempt to fight.  I’ll write a blog about how that goes!

I have also finally had a break-through as to the question I have been trying to answer for years: why do I fight?  It’s more of a social activity for me.  That explains why I like some fight practices more than others.  I may feel comfortable or have more friends at some practices more than others.  I also have some friends who I love to hang out with but hate to fight because they take it seriously to a scary level.  I used to enjoy melees because it was an activity with a group of friends.  I don’t like it now because I don’t feel like I have anybody to fight with.  Yes, I know I have had several offers to fight with groups, but I guess I just don’t feel like I belong with ANY group at the moment.

I will be more active in the SCA again in the future.  I have recently attended Closing of the Inne at Coldwood and EK Coronation.  Kenshin is on the Queen’s Guard, so I will be around at the events that he will be at.  I will probably be spending most of the time taking care of the baby, but that’s fine by me.  I don’t get to see my son much during the week because of work so I enjoy spending as much of my weekend as possible with him!  Here’s a picture of us at Coronation: